Frame by Frame, take 3

being aware, Being in the moment, not caring about capitalizzation, puntuation, or misspelling, observing the confidence, and in some case the lack thereof, in the way I type, the reflexes I have developed. the chain reactions my mind performs, the patterns embedded, the editing that i try to edit thought when i realize i'm editing i try to stop, the paradox, the catch 22. that last time, and right now as well, i did feel much more in tune my actions, much more in tune with my thoughts too. it was so much easier to be aware of everythought as it arrived if I thought about them frame by frame as instructed. And just as was mentioned in the reading, as we do familiar routines, our brain sends a similar system of change reactions. i found this to be very true, not just of the act of logging to my blog. But also the act of being aware of each thought, consecutively and all at once, that occured in my brain. i'm not writing down every thought, because the longer I write the more my thoughts get ahead of what I can write. But anyway, I realized that I've been in this mode before, this hyper-aware mode, where I watch my mind frame by frame. I do it a lot when I'm walking alone to a class, or riding the bus, or lying on the floor in my room. I used to do it all the time in middle school, I just thought it was fun. Anyway, when I did this excercise I was immediately thrown back to recally all those other times I've been in this state. When I paused between setences a few lines back i could hear the vibrations of the air in my ear, I could feel the blood running through my body, rushing to my fingertips and back, I felt the weight of my arms on my shoulders, the skin on my thumb rubbing against that of my forefinger, the cool smooth surface of my macbook against my palms the push of the chair against my body as my body pushes against it, weightless, and heavy, poised, but relaxed. I'm finding it easier and easier to get into this mode and I love it. Its like candy for me. I don't need music, i don't need movies or books. Sometimes this just does the trick. It feels strange putting a name to it after reading the article. I think maybe I'll just keep it nameless. Have you ever slowed down enough that you can feel your pulse in your finger tips. Thats when I know I'm there. Thats when I know I'm paying attention.